10 Hilarious Scott Steiner Quotes
Emma Horne Before WrestleMania 38, the Steiner brothers will be inducted into WWE’s Hall of Fame. This is kind of ironic since Scott Steiner has a pretty rocky relationship with those at WWE, to say the least. He’s also talked trash about the WWE Hall of Fame before, but it’s a nice accolade for the Steiners to get nonetheless.
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Scott Steiner is known for his loud mouth more than anything. He’s incredibly funny, oftentimes without even meaning to be. In pretty much every promo he cuts, there’s at least one line that makes you do a double-take. Steiner, though, always talks with such absolute confidence that it almost convinces you what he’s saying makes sense. Here are 10 quotes out of Scott’s promos that are especially funny. Some were planned, and some were just Scott being himself.
10 How Many Days In A Week?
There was a brief period in time when Bully Ray and Scott Steiner combined their powers to make perhaps the most loudmouthed tag team of all time. At one point in their run, the two were talking backstage when Scott told Bully Ray, “I got freaks nine days out of the week!” Bully Ray then tells Scott that there are only seven days in a week, and Scott replies with unintelligible blabber as only he can.
9 Scott Is Not A Hamburger
One of Scott’s biggest rivals was Samoa Joe. On one episode of TNA, Scott ranted to Kurt Angle about his opponent, saying, “I got a fat out-of-shape Samoan hunting me down with a sword- with a machete- like I’m a big piece of hamburger or something! Like I’m a big Twinkie! I mean look at me, I’m a genetic freak and what does he see? A piece of bacon!”
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Kurt Angle didn’t seem to understand what Scott had just said, which is a feeling that was probably pretty common in locker rooms with the Steiners.
8 Gee-tar
This quote comes from an episode of IMPACT, during a feud against Bully Ray. Backstage, Scott lamented how bored he was backstage without a match to look forward to. He found a toy guitar, picked it up, and yelled to the camera, “what am I gonna do? Play the gee-tar? I can’t play the gee-tar! All I do is beat people up!”
7 Buddy Rogers
This quote comes from Scott’s time in WCW, during his feud with Ric Flair. He cuts what feels like a shoot promo, wherein he raises the question, “Why wouldn’t WCW hire the original nature boy, Buddy Rogers?” only to then bluntly explain,” I know Buddy Rogers is dead, God rest his soul, but Ric Flair, your career is dead!”
6 DDP Poetry
Scott Steiner is maybe too brash for his promos to be described as poetic, but he certainly has a way with words. Sometimes he likes to use wordplay or rhyme in his promos, which gives us lines like this one, said to Diamond Dallas Page on an episode of Nitro: “as you’re in the hospital, on your back, screaming in pain, your wife will be on her back, screaming my name." It's crass, but also pretty clever.
5 Ric Flair Impression
This quote comes from an episode of Nitro in 2000. Steiner’s disdain for Flair was already well known at this point, but on this particular night, he decided to amp it up. He put in fake teeth, which unfortunately made Scott even harder to understand, and did his best impression of Ric Flair. He said, “I’m the limousine riding, jet flying, back-stabbing son of a b*tch! I got more loose skin than a Sharpay puppy!”
4 Ducks
When watched without any knowledge of its context, the five-second clip of Scott Steiner and the little duck statue is great comedy. Scott yells “I hate ducks!” and whacks the duck statue with a metal pipe while Tony Schiavone from the commentary booth yells “hit the duck yes! We love you, Scott Steiner!”
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Even understanding its context, though, the scene is pretty great. The duck is actually the “Disqo Duck,” a prop from an ever-present nuisance to the wrestling world, Disco Inferno.
3 Eeny Meeny
This quote comes from an episode of TNA IMPACT. Booker T and Scott are playing "eeny meeny" to decide who gets to face AJ Styles. The game devolves into an argument, and Sharmell cuts in to say, “stop being a baby!” Scott, appalled at this accusation, replies, “baby?! I’m good at eeny meeny miny moe!”
Jim Cornette has to break up the fight and decide the rest of the show.
2 Hail Steiner
This comes from an episode of WCW Monday Nitro, which by the end of its run had turned into such a circus that even Scott Steiner’s promos didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary. Steiner, alone in the ring with a mic in hand, proclaims, “I’m gonna look at the whole world, and I’m gonna say ‘veni vidi voochi.”
This was his attempt at quoting Julius Caesar’s historic line, “veni vidi vici," which translates to "I came, I saw, I conquered." It seems like Steiner didn’t major in Latin when he was in college.
1 Steiner Math
This is a cliché choice to put at the top of this list, but it’s simply required reading for anyone looking for iconic promos from Scott Steiner. The premise of this promo is that Scott is explaining to Samoa Joe that he has absolutely no chance of winning their match at Sacrifice. The way that Scott Steiner delivers these completely garbled and nonsensical statistics with complete confidence encapsulates what makes him so great. Scott takes you into his world when he speaks. His world doesn’t make any sense, but it’s a lot of fun to be in.