Full House: Danny Tanner’s 10 Best Quotes
Emma Powell In his role as Danny Tanner, the late Bob Saget provided Full House with some of its most memorable moments. These 10 quotes show why he's so beloved.
There are many iconic and beloved characters in the long-running sitcom Full House, but Danny Tanner, played by the late Bob Saget, is truly one of the series' best characters and an often overlooked source of comedy. As the father of three young daughters, and the best friend to two very childlike men, Danny is a character who is forced to assume a lot of responsibility, something he always does with humor and heart.
From his ridiculous puns and dad jokes, to his blend of self-aware and clueless humor, and even in some genuinely heartwarming moments, Danny Tanner has so many incredible quotes, it's almost too hard to pick the best of them.
The Master Of The Perfectly Timed Pun
"Breakfast Is Ready. We're Having Pan... Cuts."
The show is known for its many corny jokes, including some Full House jokes that fans might have missed. But no character in the series makes more ridiculous and hilarious puns than Danny Tanner himself.
In the season 2 premiere, "Cutting It Close," Stephanie inadvertently cuts off a big chunk of Jesse's hair while playing pretend hairdresser. When Danny arrives on the scene, to announce that it's time for pancakes, his dry delivery of a ridiculous pun makes for one of the episode's funniest moments: "Breakfast is ready. We're having pan... cuts."
When He Made Up A Nursery Rhyme On The Spot
"Don't Shake Your Head. Your Story's Read. It's Time For Bed. To Bed, I Said."
As a single father to three young girls, Danny often gets overwhelmed, especially when the girls refuse to listen to him. Young Michelle is usually the cutest of the Tanner kids, but she is also often the most rebellious, including in the episode "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor."
Full House is full of relatable storylines and moments, and in this one, Michelle refuses to go to bed at her assigned bedtime. Danny is quick to not indulge her, even if he does it in a very sing-song way: "Don't shake your head. Your story's read. It's time for bed. To bed, I said."
Dad Joke After Dad Joke
"When Life Gives You Dilemmas, Make Dilemonade."
As one of the best sitcom dads in television history, Danny makes bad jokes just as often as he gives supportive advice and guidance. Sometimes, through his special brand of humor, he even manages to do both of those things at once.
The season 4 episode "Danny in Charge" finds Danny stretched too thin when both DJ and Stephanie have extracurricular activities they want him to attend at the same time. His response to the dilemma at hand: "When life gives you dilemmas, make dilemonade."
A Man With A Simple Worldview
"Nature Is Just So Beautiful. So Natural, And Yet, So Dirty."
As beloved as he might be, there are still many things about Danny Tanner that make no sense. One of these is his obsessive-compulsive need for cleanliness, which the series often takes to extremes in later seasons for the sake of easy punchlines.
The episode "The Trouble with Danny" takes this to a new extreme, when Danny overhears his family members mocking his neat freak behavior. In response, Danny heads into nature to get some time to reflect in peace and quiet, leading to this hilarious observation: "Nature is just so beautiful. So natural, and yet, so dirty."
That Time He Was Super Humble
"Am I The Raddest, Baddest Dad A Kid Ever Had?"
There's no way around this fact: Danny Tanner is a complete dork. He is overly enthusiastic about almost everything and tries his best to stay "hip" and look cool in his daughter's eyes, which almost never goes well.
The season 5 episode "Crushed" is rare in that it finds Danny earning some cool points, when he secures a young teen singer Stephanie loves to perform at her birthday party. In reply to DJ's excitement, Danny asks, "Am I the raddest, baddest dad a kid ever had?" DJ's response says it all: "You were until you said that."
The Tanner Family Motto
"Honey, Now, I'm Going To Teach You The Tanner Family Motto: Clean Is Good, And Dirt Is Bad."
As Michelle grows up and starts to talk and take part in family activities, Danny does his best to impart his particular beliefs about cleanliness, which haven't really caught on with his other daughters.
In the season 2 episode "Pal Joey," Danny teaches Michelle how to mop the kitchen floor. When he is impressed with her performance, he decides to take things further in a truly hilarious and uniquely Danny fashion: "Honey, now, I'm going to teach you the Tanner family motto: Clean is good, and dirt is bad."
Another Real Contender For Danny's Motto
"Let's Face It. I'm A Lean, Mean Hugging Machine."
He might claim his quote about cleanliness as the Tanner family motto, but if there's another quote that sums up Danny's personality, it would have to be this hilarious one that happens in the series' pilot episode, "Our Very First Show."
When Danny shows a newly-arrived Jesse to his bedroom, their conversation quickly turns emotional, despite Jesse's best efforts. This leads Danny to hug him on multiple occasions and make the following hilarious claim: "Let's face it. I'm a lean, mean hugging machine." The following 8 seasons more than prove that fact.
A Nerd And Proud Of It
"Yes, But I'm A Dweeb Having Fun!"
Danny Tanner might be a nerd, but at least he's able to own up to it and even better, he's proud of the fact, too. While Uncle Jesse is the cool one, and Joey is the funny one, Danny is always the nerdy one, something that his daughters in particular never let him forget.
In the season 5 episode "Yours, Mine, and Ours," the Tanner family go to dinner at a pirate-themed restaurant, where Danny all too happily dons a pirate hat at the table. "Dad, you look like a dweeb," an embarrassed DJ points out. Danny's response sums his character up perfectly: "Yes, but I'm a dweeb having fun!"
When He Tried To Be Cool
"You Don't Think I Can Be Cool? Just Wait 'Til You See How I Get Down And Get Funky With My Bad Self."
Uncle Jesse might be the one with a music career in Full House, but Danny gets a few memorable musical moments in the series, too. Season 4's "Ol' Brown Eyes" finds Danny planning to perform a musical number at a fundraiser for DJ's school.
Jesse expresses some disbelief at the prospect of Danny being able to seem cool enough to perform at The Smash Club during the fundraiser, to which Danny perfectly replies: "You don't think I can be cool? Just wait 'til you see how I get down and get funky with my bad self."
Danny's Most Heartwarming Reminder To His Daughters
"Steph, Those Are Just Things. We Can Always Buy A New Car, Or We Could Put Up A New Wall, But There's Only One Stephanie Judith Tanner. And You Could Never Be Replaced."
Although most of Danny's best quotes are ones that find him being a truly hilarious and corny source of dad jokes, some of Danny's best moments are the ones that prove just why he ranks among some of the best sitcom dads of all time. The season 3 episode "Honey, I Broke the House" contains one of Full House's fan-favorite storylines, as it sees a young Stephanie somehow backing Joey's car through the Tanner family kitchen.
But the ridiculous premise and hilarious antics aside, the episode concludes with an exchange between Danny and Stephanie that is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking. "Steph, those are just things. We can always buy a new car, or we could put up a new wall, but there's only one Stephanie Judith Tanner. And you could never be replaced," Danny tells her. When Stephanie responds that she hadn't considered that, Danny tearfully replies, "I think about it every day."
