Shrek is the kind of ogre who is less scary and more silly. Throughout all of his films, he has delivered some really hilarious lines.

Shrek is one of the most iconic characters in the history of animated movies. In fact, he’s easily one of the most iconic characters in the history of cinema, period. Mike Myers took the lead character in a satire of fairy tales that was, at the time, considered to be risky and turned him into a deep, engaging, and lovable guy.

Shrek subverts the clichés of the fantasy genre by being an ogre who ultimately becomes heroic when he’s given a chance to save a beautiful princess—who also turns out to be an ogre. Here are twenty of Shrek's funniest quotes.

Update Nov. 4, 2021: With rumors concerning the fifth installment in the Shrek series continuing to crop up, it seems as if the big green ogre's place in pop culture isn't soon to be relinquished. Shrek by-and-large made DreamWorks a household name, and, two decades and four films later, they remain as influential as ever.

It's been a full decade since Shrek Forever After, the most recent entry in the franchise, debuted, but fans are always ready for more witty quips and dry jokes from this hapless hero of fabricated folklore.

On Lord Farquaad's Castle

“Do You Think He’s Maybe Compensating For Something?”

The great thing about the Shrek movies is that they’re filled with innuendos. These innuendos are little winks to the parents in the audience that go over the heads of the children watching.

A good example of this is when Shrek and Donkey first arrive at Lord Farquaad’s castle and Shrek notices how tall and wide it is. He cracks, “that must be Lord Farquaad’s castle. Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” Perhaps he was simply referring to his height.

He'll Squeeze The Jelly From Your Eyes

“Actually, It’s Quite Good On Toast.”

In the opening scene of Shrek, a group of villagers gets together to kill the local ogre. One of them says that “it’ll grind your bones for its bread,” but Shrek himself shows up to correct him.

He casually says, “well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres – oh, they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They’ll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it’s quite good on toast.”

One Talkative Donkey

“Donkey, You Have The Right To Remain Silent. What You Lack Is The Capacity.”

Midway through Shrek 2, when Shrek has turned into a handsome human being and Donkey has turned into a noble stallion, they get arrested by the Far Far Away police. Donkey tells the officers apprehending him that “nobody said I have the right to remain silent!,” and Shrek quips, “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”

Sidestepping Insults

“Well, That’s Not Very Nice. It’s Just A Donkey.”

When Shrek first confronts Lord Farquaad as he’s auditioning knights to carry out a daring quest for him, the diminutive villain says “what’s that? It’s hideous!” in reference to the giant, green ogre standing in front of him.

Shrek quips back, “well, that’s not very nice. It’s just a donkey,” in reference to his four-legged sidekick. Donkey is so childlike and naive that he doesn’t seem to notice a lot of these backhanded insults.

Quoting Babe

“That’ll Do, Donkey. That’ll Do.”

Rickety bridges suspended over a bottomless pit or a river of lava are a staple of adventure movies. These bridges can be found in every big-screen adventure from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom to The Man Who Would Be King. There’s a rickety bridge in Shrek that leads to the tower housing Princess Fiona. By the time Shrek gets a terrified Donkey to go out onto the bridge, he’s not at all scared because he’s just relieved to have calmed Donkey down.

Ogres and Onions

“Ogres are like onions.”

At first, Donkey doesn’t understand this analogy. When Shrek first tells Donkey that ogres are like onions, Donkey thinks he means they stink. Then, he thinks he means they make people cry. In a sense, he’s right about both of them, but they’re also stereotypes of ogres. Then, Donkey thinks he means ogres go brown if they’re left out in the sunlight.

He’s getting further and further away from the point, so Shrek explains it to him. What Shrek is really getting at is that ogres have emotional layers. They’re complex individuals, as Donkey would later find out as he saw Shrek fall in love and learn to appreciate having close friends like him around.

Straight to the Point

"Donkey, two words. Shut. Up!"

Having lived in almost complete solitude for most of his life, Shrek has become an ogre of few words. So, when he comes across an excessively-talkative donkey, he can't help but be short with him.

In the original 2001 film, Lord Farquaad tasks the pair with rescuing a princess from a dragon-guarded castle, and, while Shrek is merely non-plussed Donkey is outright terrified. The animal won't stop talking Shrek's ear off as they search for Fiona, which prompts Shrek to make his annoyance known with this hilarious quote.

I'm Makin' Waffles!

“There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?”

The Shrek movies are pretty meta in their references to fairy tale tropes. For example, in Shrek Forever After, as the title character and Donkey are out in the woods and see a beautiful stack of waffles, Donkey is excited, but Shrek can see that it’s obviously some kind of ploy.

In an old Hans Christian Andersen story, the characters would blindly fall for a trick like this, but Shrek points out how absurd and on-the-nose this trick is. Still, Donkey’s dumb enough to fall for it – and he established his love of waffles as far back as the first movie.

An Ogre's Might Roar

"This is the part where you run away."

After sneaking up on a band of villagers in the beginning moments of the first Shrek movie, Shrek reminds them of how vicious ogres can be before licking his fingers and putting out a man's torch. After that, he accosts the group with a deep, guttural roar, sending the group into a panic.

Apparently completely stunned, Shrek then gently suggests that they ought to make a hasty escape, whispering "this is the part where you run away." Shrek clearly takes pleasure in tormenting the townspeople, and this quote exemplifies his often deadpan delivery.

Puss in Boots

“Look at him in his wee li’l boots! Y’know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?”

Antonio Banderas’ Zorro-like portrayal of the old folklore character Puss in Boots quickly became just as beloved as anyone from the first movie when he joined Shrek and Donkey in Shrek 2. His technique of looking adorable with gigantic eyes to get his opponents to drop their guard before launching an attack on them is fool-proof.

It worked on Shrek and Donkey when they first encountered him in the woods, and it would later work with a few other people later on in the franchise. He proved to be so popular that he got his own spin-off movie in 2011.

King and Country

“It’s time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You’re the new king of Far Far Away.”

Following in the traditions of the fairy tales that inspired them, the Shrek movies usually revolve around Shrek and Donkey going on some kind of quest. In Shrek the Third, that quest is to find the heir to Fiona’s father’s throne after he passes away.

The kid’s name is Arthur—or “Artie,” as he’s referred to in the movie—and he’s played by Justin Timberlake. When Shrek arrives at Artie’s school to take him back to Far Far Away to claim his throne, the other students assume he’s there to eat him—and then they’re actually disappointed that he’s not.

A Territorial Creature

“What are you doing in my swamp!?”

This one is mainly memorable because it became a widely-circulated Shrek meme, but Mike Myers’ delivery of the line is just as memorable. Shrek didn’t even want Donkey staying in his swamp, and he discovers in the middle of the night that Lord Farquaad has sent every fantasy creature in his entire realm to live on Shrek’s swamp.

This guy just wanted to be left alone, and now he was being forced to share his sanctuary with dozens of other people. Not only that, but they wanted to actually live inside his house, so he decided to do something about it.

Torches and Pitchforks

“I’m an ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’ Doesn’t that bother you?”

What ties Shrek to Pixar’s similarly groundbreaking computer-animated movie Toy Story is that they both revolve around an iconic duo who initially don’t get along, but, after going on an incredible adventure together, they become the best of friends. In Toy Story, that duo is Woody and Buzz. In Shrek, it’s Shrek and Donkey.

Film buffs would be hard-pressed to choose which one was the better pair. They do have slightly different relationships. While Buzz was just as apprehensive about Woody as he was about Buzz, Donkey was instantly accepting of Shrek, even if Shrek was reluctant to open up to him.

Shrek the Noble Knight

“Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you or if I forget.”

This hilarious line appears in Shrek 2 as the titular ogre is on his way to save Fiona from being tricked into marrying Prince Charming. As a part of his gallant plan to rescue her, he has to steal some clothes from a couple of guys. But, he does promise to pay them back for the clothes—unless he’s unable to find them or he forgets he owes them clothes.

The joke, of course, is that Shrek's word here isn't worth its weight in the mud in which the character bathes. With all the commotion of the movie’s climax, he’ll probably forget about these guys, and he didn’t take their names or any other information, so, even if he remembers, it’ll be impossible to track them down.

Not the Average Prince Charming

“It’s on my to-do list!”

In the first Shrek movie, the title character is not what Fiona is expected when she’s awoken in the castle guarded by the dragon. She’s expecting a handsome prince to come and kiss her, and, instead, she gets an ogre who shakes her violently to jolt her awake.

When she comes out of her slumber and gets to know the situation, she realizes that Shrek hasn’t actually slain the dragon before saving her like he was supposed to. However, he does assure her that it’s on his to-do list. It’s a good thing he didn’t slay the dragon, as that dragon would later become Donkey’s wife and the mother of his children.

Careful What You Wish For

"Well, somebody better be dying!"

After marrying the love of his life and settling down in the distant kingdom of Far Far Away, Fiona brings up the topic of raising a family. Shrek doesn't seem all that keen on the idea, but their conversation is interrupted by a messenger, prompting Shrek to spout this quote.

As it happens, the amphibian King Harold actually is dying. These events set to plot of the third Shrek movie in motion, as Shrek is tasked with tracking down Harlod's successor. Of course, this doesn't help to change Shrek's already-surly mode.

The Perfect Man

“A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?”

The big twist in Shrek was that halfway through the movie, Fiona was revealed to have been cursed by a witch to be an ogre unless she received true love’s kiss. So, it made sense to flip that twist in the sequel and have Shrek drink a potion that turns him into a handsome human.

As he wakes up in a barn and discovers his human features—and that Donkey is now a majestic white stallion—he lists off everything that’s attractive about his new body. As an ogre, he had a pug nose, a bald head, and a plump behind, so he was surprised to find that he had an adorable nose, a thick head of hair, and a "taut" rear end.

Shrek's Fatal Flatulence

"Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead."

After receiving a promise from Lord Farquaad that he'll remove all of the fairy tale creatures from his swamp if he rescues Princess Fiona, Shrek and Donkey travel across the land in search of the castle in which she has been imprisoned.

They find the castle surrounded by a lake of lava which gives off a strong sulphuric scent. Donkey decides that it's actually Shrek's sudden flatulence and complains about the smell. Shrek, having absolutely none of his partner's nonsense, retorts by saying that "if it was me, you'd be dead."

Spoilin' For A Fight

“You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.”

According to CBR, Mike Myers took Shrek’s Scottish accent from the voice his mother used to use when she read him fairy tales as a kid—isn’t that adorable? He recorded his lines for the first movie with a few different accents, mostly from different regions of Canada, and they just couldn’t find a voice that fit.

It actually cost the studio millions of dollars to keep reanimating the movie to suit the new voice recordings. In the end, he found the accent that suited the character: Scottish.

What a Load of...

"Like that's ever gonna happen."

In the introduction to the first Shrek movie, the titular character reads from a storybook that foretells a brave knight going on an epic quest and discovering true love. He then tears a page out of the book while laughing and uttering this quote.

This proceeds one of the most memed movie intros of all time. Shrek throws open the door to an outhouse and saunters out while Smash Mouth's iconic song "Rockstar" plays in the background. This immediately sets the tone for the entire franchise and made Shrek a loveable and totally hilarious character.

NEXT: Donkey's 15 Most Hilarious Quotes From The Shrek Movies