Top 20 Darkest Robot Chicken Sketches Ever
Andrew Patterson #20: American Girl Dolls
“Secret of the Flushed Footlong”These dolls are sitting around drinking tea and telling their life stories. They each say what time period they’re from and what they’re likes and dislikes are. It goes well for the first two dolls but when the third one reveals her backstory the tone shifts significantly. She reveals her name is Addie Walker and that she was born a slave. The other dolls are horrified by how she gleefully recounts this information to them. Things get a bit more uncomfortable when another doll, Mary Grace, is from the same time period and most likely a slave owner but thankfully she decides to pass.
#19: Deaf Parents
“Saving Private Gigli”One of the more iconic aspects of Charlie Brown is Lucy convincing him she’s not going to pull the football when he tries to kick it. Another is the distinctive sound adults make when they speak rendering whatever is said unintelligible. Here Charlie Brown asks his mom if he and Lucy can have a snack. She replies in the way in which adults sound but then we’re hit with an announcer telling us that his parents are deaf. It certainly gives us a different understanding of the different Charlie Brown specials.
#18: Care Bear Genocide
“Password: Swordfish”The Care Bears are known to be kind and travel around spreading that message to others while trying to stop Professor Coldheart, No Heart and others from spreading hate. Here, however, their mission is changed when the Care Bears decide there must be purity amongst their ranks. Convinced that the Care Bear Cousins are responsible for the decline of the franchise, they wipe them out. Despite their cutesy appearances, the cold and unfeeling way they eliminate the non-bear characters is unsettling, not to mention they proceed to party afterward. Sharing these harmful ideas is definitely not caring.
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#17: Toy Story 4
“Kramer vs. Showgirls”The later entries of the “Toy Story” franchise deal with how Andy’s toys find new meaning for their lives once he grows out of playing with them. It’s wholesome and touching to see how Woody, Buzz and the gang deal with those changes. In this alternative view, things are much different. Andy is in college now but the toys now have to deal with his growing interests in women. Poor Buzz is pretty much lobotomized when Andy uses him as paraphernalia for mind altering substances. The worst is Woody is reduced to tears as he is left to put his best friend out of his misery.
#16: The iCarly iNipples
“Caffeine Induced Aneurysm”Carly’s used to living her life online but this gaffe literally has world ending consequences. After recording a segment for her webcast she accidentally leaves the camera on while taking a shower. She gives the footage to Gibby for upload who decides to leave it in for broadcast. Later when her dad sees it he feels that he’s failed as a father and takes the nuclear route. No, really. He decides to fire nukes at Iran in response to being told he’d be court-martialed for resigning his position. Spencer informs Carly that because of their dad’s actions, they’ll be hunted by Al Qaeda strike teams. Yikes. Always remember to review your footage.
#15: Happy Days Zombie Attack
“Ants on a Hamburger”“Happy Days” portrayed the lives of Richtie Cunningham, the Fonz and their friends in 1950s America as rather idyllic. What happens when zombies are inserted into the equation? After Ralph dies from juggling knives, Fonzie is able to bring him back to life by hitting him with his fist. Unfortunately this has the effect of turning Ralph into a zombie, who proceeds to start the zombie apocalypse in Arnold’s. It’s up to the Fonz to save the day and eliminate the threat. It’s heartbreak though when Ritchie reveals he’s been bitten and Fonzie needs to put him out of his misery. Happy days, indeed.
#14: Delicious Gummy Bears
“Tapping a Hero”Gummy bears are delicious but maybe you’ll think twice before eating one after this. A pink gummy bear is frolicking in a field when she unknowingly steps in a bear trap. After a blood curdling scream followed by a stream of curse words, she decides the only way to free herself is to chew off the leg caught in the trap. Once free, she continues on her merry way until she steps in another trap. It turns out this is a twisted ad for gummy bears but she’s still left in a dire situation even if she’s able to free herself.
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#13: Why Does Sonic Run?
“Callie Greenhouse in: Fun. Sad. Epic. Tragic.”A staple of the Sonic games is that Sonic goes fast. Fans of the Genesis games might remember those old ads saying Sonic is way better than Mario because of his extreme speed. Have you ever stopped to ask why he needs to move so quickly? This sketch attempts to answer that question and it takes an unexpected turn. A squirrel and beaver observe Sonic speeding by and while admiring him, they wonder what he can’t out run. We cut to Sonic and see he’s being chased by a little sad face from Zoloft commercials. He’s trying to outrun his depression. Maybe those games weren’t so fun after all.
#12: Oswald Floats
“Scoot to the Gute”This blue octopus is known for his patience and general outlook on life, which is reasonable considering he’s the star of a kids show. In this sketch, he’s no different. Daisy on the other hand… The two are in a raft and before he goes into the water, he’s about to put on a life preserver wanting to be safe. Daisy, however, is dismayed that he would even bother considering he’s an octopus and think he’ll be fine without one. She suddenly pushes him in the water and a few seconds later he floats back to the surface lifeless. What’s shocking is her reaction to what she just did. She’s completely nonchalant about it. Don’t mess around with water safety.
#11: Wile E. Piphany
“Executed by the State”Fans of “Looney Tunes” know that Wile E. Coyote is forever trying to catch the Road Runner. While chasing his long-time prey, he fails once again. Dejected, he questions what he’s doing with his life. The coyote has seemingly given up and decides he’s to end it all. It’s definitely not something we were expecting at all. That seems to be the case for the Road Runner as well. When he shows up to the funeral, we find out that it was all an elaborate ruse and the coyote is able to roast his foe. While he finally wins out, it’s a bit too far for us how he does it.
#10: Feudal France
“Garfield Stockman in: A Voice Like Wet Ham"Every Disney fan remembers the classic “Beauty and the Beast” number where Belle sings a cheery song about her French village. Instead of singing about the town's highlights, the Belle in the sketch sings about all the downsides of life in feudal France. Between the disgusting living conditions to rampant disease, the village looks like an awful place to live. Even Belle ends up catching a mysterious illness by the end of the sketch. We’re glad Disney didn’t make their song this realistic or horrifying in the original animated movie.
#9: Apocalypse Pony
“Cracked China”Most kids would be thrilled to see a pony come flying through the window. If it happens to be one of the apocalypse ponies, however, the children should run for their lives. After a couple of kids cause mischief around their house, a group of sketchy looking ponies come soaring into the picture. Each creature represents one of the fabled four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These toys are not concerned with child safety standards. By the end of the sketch, almost everything in the house is on fire, and the family has been decimated.Umm... we guess the kids learned their lesson?
#8: Laff-A-Munich
“Ban on the Fun"In the “Laff-A-Lympics” cartoon, a bunch of Hanna-Barbera characters compete against one another. But what if they took the competition way too seriously? In this “Robot Chicken” sketch, a few villainous Hanna-Barbera characters preemptively eliminate their competitors. When their heinous acts are discovered, a group of typically heroic toons get revenge by taking out the villains responsible. The sketch is dark by design, but the sight of characters like Scooby-Doo committing acts of violence really sticks with you. Still, this dark reimagining of the “Laff-A-Lympics” might leave you smiling... if you have a totally twisted sense of humor.
#7: Cartoons Smokers
“Triple Hot Dog Sandwich on Wheat”In the early ‘60s, the Winston cigarette company used characters from “The Flintstones” to promote their tobacco products without hinting at the harmful health effects they could cause. But the “Cartoon Smokers” segment tackles the habit’s potential negative effects head-on. We see cartoon characters like Fred Flintstone and Pink Panther suffering from various smoking-related ailments. Even supporting characters like Olive Oyl, who inhaled tobacco second-hand, are affected. Seeing these bright cartoon characters looking weakened and sick is seriously depressing. The sketch may not have been designed as a PSA, but it’s just as effective as any real anti-smoking commercial.
#6: Dora's Questionable Quinceañera
“Hemlock, Gin and Juice”
The premise of Dora the Explorer has always been simple. A young girl breaks the fourth wall to ask us for guidance along her adventures. This concept gets really dark in this sketch, however, when a teenage Dora needs to get some things for her Quinceanera. The audience picks out an item for Dora at the store and...she promptly steals it. After she drinks a beverage that she is definitely not old enough for, she ends up on the roof and looks straight at the camera. Dora admits in a tearful confession that she can’t hear anyone beyond the fourth wall. Although this sad confession is meant as a joke, her words left us wondering if the real Dora could ever really hear us.
#5: Cereal Killer
“Easter Basket"While hanging out at Fred’s house, Barney gets creative in his attempt to steal his friend’s Fruity Pebbles. Sadly, the two friends end up physically fighting over the cereal. During their scrap, Fred accidentally receives a fatal blow from his best friend. Barney quickly rushes to hide the evidence of his crime, only to realize that all of the animal appliances at Fred’s house saw what happened. So… Barney ends the lives of all the living creatures that witnessed his crime. He’s eventually caught in the act, captured and forced to pay the ultimate price. We hope the Fruity Pebbles were worth it!
#4: Wonder Pets Visit the Laughter House
“Cake Pillow"When the tiny animal rescue trio known as the Wonder Pets hears that a cow is in trouble, they jump to the rescue. After releasing the cow from confinement, they realize it's too weak to walk away. The Wonder Pets decide to carry the animal into a nearby building called the laughter house. Unfortunately, they didn't know that the building's name was missing an s. By the time they realize where they’ve really taken the animal, the cow’s life has come to an abrupt end. The sketch would have been plenty dark if it had stopped there. But the writers go the extra mile and have the little trio eat hamburgers to close out the segment. Too soon, wonder pets, too soon.
#3: Pegasus Abuse
“Adoption's an Option"Legendary voice actress Cree Summer has lent her voice to a few terrifying antagonists throughout her career. If we had to pick her most horrifying role, we’d look at this extremely grim “Robot Chicken” segment. In the sketch, Cree plays a little girl that finds a Pegasus caught in the trap. Instead of freeing the animal, she makes sure it can’t fly away, renders it unconscious and drags it to a barn. The girl torments the Pegasus both physically and mentally until it accepts its new name. Seeing the trapped majestic animal cave to the girl’s demands is undoubtedly dark. And the way Cree makes the girl sound simultaneously sweet and sinister ensures this character will haunt our nightmares.
#2: Calvin’s Therapy Adventures
“Lust for Puppets"Using the power of imagination, Calvin can have full conversations with his stuffed tiger , Hobbes. Although Calvin loves to talk to his animal companion, his parents are a little concerned about it. After they try to stop Calvin’s conversations with therapy and medication, Hobbes decides to take them out of the picture. Before we know it, the parents are permanently gone and their son is locked in a padded cell indefinitely. The “Calvin And Hobbes” stories always made it seem adorable that the boy had someone to talk to. But now that we’ve seen what could happen if his imagination took a dark turn, we’ll never look at the comics the same way again.
#1: Tooth and Consequences
“Toyz in the Hood”While the Tooth Fairy is visiting a child, the mystical being hears the parents arguing downstairs. Things eventually turn violent and the fairy checks it out. We’re then shown three distinct endings. In the first scenario, the fairy takes the father's life before handing the kid some change. The second ending sees the father dealing a fatal blow to the mystical being before telling his child to run away with him. And the last scenario has the police arresting the sole survivor of the dispute before leaving the kid home alone. And did we mention the mother is never heard from in any ending? The segment concludes with characters chanting that this is the darkest “Robot Chicken” sketch. We couldn’t agree more.
